NOTHING'S EVER GONNA HAPPEN

SIGNS OF THE COMING A-PACK-OF-LIES:
What happened in the '70s should've stayed in the '70s.

By Ed Gauthier
(Bored) Stiff Writer

The "end of the end"? Don't worry, it's all baloney - and it always has been.

I've observed this particular hurly-burly publicity machine at work since the early 1970s, when the powers that be found out they couldn't milk the Vietnam war anymore for their money scams.

They tried other wars and other venues to sell drugs, but all that barely paid to keep their Black Ops running. What they really needed was a shot in the arm in the "consumer confidence" area. So they did some advertising and retail studies, and discovered one very important thing:

PEOPLE BUY A LOT MORE PRODUCTS WHEN THEY'RE SCARED.

Nothing more solidly dashes the hopes for a fast-moving economy than people moving slowly and contentedly, calmly and happily relaxing, in no hurry at all to run to the store - or to the web - to buy stuff every few hours. People not worried about some kind of huge hammer coming down on them in the very near future represent the worst nightmare of the powers that be.

Ever since they found out about all this psychological stuff, our overlords have had various shills working for them, all saying the same thing: "The world will be over in less than 10 years." And they've been saying that for over 35 years. Nobody ever said math was America's strong suite - although short attention spans certainly are!

And so I say don't feed the Fear Gimmick.

Ever since LBJ's 1968 "don't be lulled into a false sense of security" speech at the height of the Vietnam war, the political brass has been trying to keep its citizens nervous and on edge about... something - it never mattered what. As I indicated earlier, the '6Os was of course just a dry run for the full scale '70s post-Vietnam push of Operation Paranoid.

And they also keep changing their famously-claimed "end date" every few years:

The old hippies who became Denim Bible Jesus Freaks swore "the rapture" would be in 1977.

Then "the final days" moved to 1981 when Reagan got wounded.

Then "the end days" switched to 2000, "when the new century starts" (except it didn't start until January 2001), and every electronic data-related machine was going to shut down at the same time, due to the "Y2K" (Year 2000) computer menace.

Then "the end" got moved to late 2001 when 9/11 happened.

Then it was 2008, because "if a black is elected Prez, there'll be race riots."

Then 2012, when planet Nibiru passes by the Earth.

Then 2016, when UFOs communicate with us, etc.... blah-blah-blah... Ha!

None of that stuff is ever gonna happen, people - because the powers that be WANT YOUR MONEY.

If the world ever REALLY ended, then just like those fake TV preachers taking contributions from senile old ladies, the bigwigs would be out of business overnight, and they WOULDN'T GET YOUR MONEY.

Which is why nothing's ever happened, and nothing ever will.

Oh, yes - and one more thought to leave you with... BOO!

Now go buy something else you don't need, suckers!

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