LIFE IS NOT A MERE SPORT

And it's not called a penalty, it's called a jail term.

By Ed Gauthier

Not to be harsh, but a lot of people would be much better off by not assuming that everything in life is somehow a kind of "game."

Therefore there is no "playing field" that only needs some leveling to be more in their favor.

And nobody is going to call a "time out" to give them a break.

This is the real thing.

Meaning that they're not safely protected in the schoolyard anymore.

So they need to just grow up and stop their endless whining!

Rant over. (For now.)

SPACE ALIEN DIET ADVICE

Yes, they want you to drink
their Kool-Aid, but not yours.


By Ed Gauthier

This one is a case of dietary meets interplanetary.

Over the years, books mentioning alien encounters with man have yielded, among various social and political warnings, additional concerns regarding health.

And they don't just mean obvious things like staying away from fish, in this modern era of the Fukishima, Japan-radiated Pacific ocean.

Earthly visitors have been told by outer space entities to avoid certain common food and drink substances which they say will seriously harm the human metabolism.

These offenders to the digestive system most often include hard liquor (specifically whiskey) and pork (specifically ham). Another alien-perceived danger is also one of most peoples' guilty pleasures - chocolate.

Of course, every doctor on the planet has agreed with not overdoing such menu items, as well as many more, including smoking cigarettes.

Okay, so you'll live to be a ripe old age if you just do without the evils of certain booze, candy and ham on rye sandwich temptations that may come your way.

But really, who wants to always live like that, though?

Well, it's entirely your own choice to ignore doctors - and now also aliens - in the pursuit of such unwholesome "fruit," as it were.

But thanks to our friends from outer space, at least (once again) you've been warned!