PETRAEUS PUNKS OUT IN SEX SCANDAL

(Photo: Lawrence Jackson, AP)
LOUSY GENERAL, LOUSY CIA DIRECTOR,
LOUSY HUSBAND, LOUSY CLANDESTINE LOVER:
Geez, this putrid puke Petraeus was lousy at everything!
(CNS) - - WASHINGTON, D.C. - - CIA Director David Petraeus, 60, announced Friday afternoon that he has resigned from his post, acknowledging that he had shown "extremely poor judgement by engaging in an extramarital affair" with Paula Broadwell, 40, a writer and military analyst who recently wrote a glowing biography of the CIA director.

Michael Morell, who was Petraeus' deputy, will now step in as acting director.

In addition to Petraeus, two other top-level administration officials, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, are also expected to soon leave the Obama administration, and Attorney General Eric Holder said on Thursday he's also weighing whether he will remain for Obama's second term. However, none of them are also involved in any cheating scandals behind the back of their spouse, especially not with anyone 20 years younger than they are.

A federal law enforcement official said the FBI first discovered the relationship between Petraeus and Broadwell during the course of an unrelated security investigation. Subsequently, a number of e-mails concerning the Petraeus-Broadwell relationship were also found, added the official.

So in essence, our own FBI was spying on our own CIA. Makes one ponder if the CIA likewise spies on the FBI. Interesting. Lots of really bad action movie plots there, in such a crazy convoluted concept. And yes, "Petraeus" rhymes with "betray us." And the "broad" in "Broadwell," well? Why even go there? Sometimes it's just too easy.

Meanhile, as aspects of the FBI investigation still continue, in a letter to CIA personnel, Petraeus said he met with President Obama on Thursday and asked to resign because of "personal reasons." Yes, very personal!

Obama accepted his resignation on Friday.

Jack Keane, a retired Army general and longtime military mentor to Petraeus, who today learned about Petraeus' resignation from news reports, said, "The world has not seen the last of Dave Petraeus."

Uh, no - we actually have seen the last of him.

VERDICT: CAREER OVER.

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For further info, go to:
Petraeus Resigns CIA, Citing Affair; FBI Investigating
on USAToday.com: http://usat.ly/SVCzWo