EASTERN 'AFTERLIFE': TOO TIRING

Clock-in time... yet again.
This is also the first time anyone's "job"
required them to cheat on their wife!


By Ed Gauthier
Editor

Okay, fine - to see how patently absurd it is, let's take that particular kooky Eastern afterlife scenario claim by the Muslims to its logical conclusion:

Sure, most dead (and assumedly straight) guys might enjoy a wild weekend with some less experienced, jaded chicks, and lots of free booze. But after that, THEN what?

The same babes and booze again for the next few weeks- and the following months, years, decades and centuries, etc.? Yep. Because the afterlife is one heckuva long time!

And remember, they're only granted a limited number of chicks - meaning the same chicks. And they're only granted a certain type of booze - meaning wine, in this case.

Alright, newbies and wine, newbies and wine, over and over, with no variety - ever. Yes, after awhile, that same "wild weekend" would get awfully close to boring.

You would always have to play the teacher in the romantic department, and guzzle most of the alcohol. This would therefore impair your senses, otherwise it wouldn't be alcohol.

So you'd basically be a drunk teacher forever, like it or not.

Sounds like a very exhausting job in itself, when the whole point of any "heaven" is supposed to be retirement and relaxation!

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(Oh, and... Happy St. Patrick's Day.)